Dear
Mr.
Victimson,
The hair and skin samples submitted on 02/26/2013 have both tested positive for the larvae of phthirus pubis.
While we cannot rule out that this is part of the same infestation from last March, we can say with certainty that your sheets, carpeting, and wig collection are contaminated with either pubic lice or pubic lice larvae and should be incinerated to avoid further contamination.
We also recommend you exhaustively inspect your office area(s) with a lice comb and black light. If contamination is found, alert your office's Human Resources, in compliance with the Department of Environmental Protection.
Thoroughly scrub your affected regions (mons pubis, axillary hair, and eyebrows) with a prescription wash containing permethrin, such as Elimite or Kwell. If you do not have prescription wash left over from your last infestation, please contact my office for a new script.
The hair and skin samples submitted on 02/26/2013 have both tested positive for the larvae of phthirus pubis.
While we cannot rule out that this is part of the same infestation from last March, we can say with certainty that your sheets, carpeting, and wig collection are contaminated with either pubic lice or pubic lice larvae and should be incinerated to avoid further contamination.
We also recommend you exhaustively inspect your office area(s) with a lice comb and black light. If contamination is found, alert your office's Human Resources, in compliance with the Department of Environmental Protection.
Thoroughly scrub your affected regions (mons pubis, axillary hair, and eyebrows) with a prescription wash containing permethrin, such as Elimite or Kwell. If you do not have prescription wash left over from your last infestation, please contact my office for a new script.
Thursday March 07, 2013
Dear Mr. Victimson,
On behalf of the trustees of the George W. Bush Presidential Center, I would like to express my gratitude for your extremely generous gift to the George W. Bush Presidential Library. As per your request, your donation will go directly to the Karl Rove Center for Advancing Conservative Strategy.
With your donation of more than $5,000, we are happy to welcome you as a member of the Freedom Circle.
Thank you again for your continued commitment to the legacy of our nation’s greatest president, George Walker Bush.
Sincerely,
Phillip L. Prendergast
Curator
|
ATTENTION TO: Victor Victimson |
DATE INVOICE # CUSTOMER ID |
03/03/2013 734-389393 3424 |
Victor
Victimson,
you are now logged in
Thursday March 07, 2013
James Copperthwaite
Managing Editor
Retrospecticus: A Poetry Quarterly
382 Walden Path
Northampton, MA 01060
Dear Editor Copperthwaite:
My name is Victor Victimson. Please consider my below poem for submission to Retrospecticus:
Warmly Yours,
Victor Victimson
James Copperthwaite
Managing Editor
Retrospecticus: A Poetry Quarterly
382 Walden Path
Northampton, MA 01060
Dear Editor Copperthwaite:
My name is Victor Victimson. Please consider my below poem for submission to Retrospecticus:
"Saddy Hour"
from the pen of Victor Victimson
Your scent is noxious.
Your scent won't wash off me.
Your scent is raw.
I miss you.
Bennigan's employees must wash hands.
But there's no washing you off me, Rodrigo.
I feel so lonely.
I need you.
As soon as you've come, you've gone.
Back to washing dishes.
Don't want the assistant manager to catch you.
I hate you.
But deep inside of me.
A part of you remains.
And you will feel its wrath.
My wrath.
I love you.
How does payment work? from the pen of Victor Victimson
Your scent is noxious.
Your scent won't wash off me.
Your scent is raw.
I miss you.
Bennigan's employees must wash hands.
But there's no washing you off me, Rodrigo.
I feel so lonely.
I need you.
As soon as you've come, you've gone.
Back to washing dishes.
Don't want the assistant manager to catch you.
I hate you.
But deep inside of me.
A part of you remains.
And you will feel its wrath.
My wrath.
I love you.
Warmly Yours,
Victor Victimson
Thursday March 07, 2013
Subject: AROOSTOOK NUDIST ETIQUETTE
Date: 03/07/2013
From: Bogatz, Greg <Greg.Bogatz@aroostookfamilynudistcamp.com>
To: Victimson, Victor
Date: 03/07/2013
From: Bogatz, Greg <Greg.Bogatz@aroostookfamilynudistcamp.com>
To: Victimson, Victor
Dear Victor,
Thanks for booking another vacation with Aroostook Family Nudist Camp! We're excited to have you back for your third straight year, but in response to complaints about your behavior last year, we would like to remind you of some of our policies:
- Personal towels are REQUIRED to cover your seat in the dining hall. Last year, we had an unfortunate outbreak of scabies which could have been prevented had you followed this rule.
- Soap and shampoo in the lake are STRICTLY PROHIBITED. They are very toxic to the lake's delicate ecosystem. We strongly encourage you to bathe this year, but only in the showers. Again, the lake is for recreational swimming only.
- The wearing of prosthetic limbs is restricted ONLY to those requiring them. Please don't make us remind you of this again.
- Do NOT apply moisturizer, baby oil or sunscreen before putting on the harness for the climbing wall. This creates hazardous climbing conditions for all subsequent climbers. A slippery harness is NOT an effective harness.
- Absolutely NO flammable liquids are permitted on camp grounds. The canteen will provide dry firewood and kindling upon request. I know it wasn't your fault, but last year, Jerry Blankenship got third degree burns on his inner thighs from your lighter fluid.
Yours truly,
Greg Bogatz